The Art of Flirting

By Sueann Allen

What gives? How do so many people spot someone in a crowd and end up with a phone number and a scheduled date by the end of the evening? The key is in learning how to flirt!

Successful daters are usually outstanding flirts and, believe it or not, flirting is an art that can be learned. Sure, some people are born with a natural instinct to attract the opposite sex, but most of us must fumble through some awkward years of dating disasters before we perfect our flirting rituals.

Here are a few foolproof flirtatious behaviors guaranteed to improve your dating life

BE POSITIVE! You have to appear self-confident, even if you are shaking in your boots. People are automatically attracted to those who seem to know that they are a good catch. If you say something a little awkward, shrug it off. If you don't make a big deal of it, the other person probably won't even notice.

INITIATE THE CONVERSATION, but keep it simple and light-hearted. During the conversation, try to find common interests. Use your own interests as guidelines. If you share a common interest, the conversation will flow naturally. If nothing else, talk about where you are.

LET THEM TALK. Avoid questions that can be answered with yes or no responses. Instead, use lots of why and how types of questions. Avoid any depressing topics and don't discuss your problems, past or present. No one wants to begin a relationship with someone who seems unstable and needy.

THE IMPORTANCE OF BODY LANGUAGE. Use your body. Smile, and smile with your eyes too. Establish eye contact and then avert your eyes downward once contact is made. This is a very subtle trick that is both attractive and enticing.

Women should cross their legs in the direction of the person with whom they are flirting. Men should avoid crossing altogether. A woman can draw attention to her femininity by lightly caressing her collarbone. Casually touch the other person's arm or leg during the conversation. This will indicate your own attraction and stimulate the other person physically.

If you are an internet-dater, the same rules apply. Keep your online conversations lighthearted. Try to find similar interests to talk about. Avoid questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no. Once you have arranged a physical meeting-a real date-try out the flirting tactics mentioned above.

If at first you don't succeed, remember-flirting takes time to master. Don't give up if you flop in your first attempt using these tactics. Keep on trying. Eventually, you will master the art of flirting and be on your way to an exciting and successful dating career!

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